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The Void/Transcript
(Scene opens up on an extreme-close up of a strange, golden orb-shaped "planet". Wander's face comes into view, and he makes a face at it. Sylvia follows suit, zoom out to show them in an orbble and in front of an ethereal door in the sky. The "planet" is actually the doorknob.) Sylvia: We're definitely opening this weird space door, aren't we? (Wander nods.) No chance of us just...moving on, having a normal, relaxing, non-crazy day? (Wander shakes his head.) Didn't think so. (gestures to the door) After you, pal! (Wander sticks his hand out of the orbble and turns the knob. He opens the door to reveal a blank white space from behind it. Both turn towards it; cut to just inside the door at their astounded faces.) Wander/'Sylvia:' Whoa! (Cut to behind them as they walk towards the door. The moment they enter inside it and the white space fills the screen, the orbble pops, and they are glowing slightly. They walk slowly away until they're barely in the distance. Sylvia's voice echos slightly.) Sylvia: Where are we? (The episode's title appears above them, freeze-frame.) (Close-up on the two, as Sylvia turns around, Wander flips, cartwheels and runs around her. Wander's voice echos slightly like Sylvia's, and their voices will continue to do so until further notice.) Wander: Sylvia, this place is AMAZING! (walks offscreen right) Sylvia: A little empty, if ya ask me. (turns head, Wander enters screen left) Wander? Wander: (waves) Over here! (Sylvia shrieks, then turns around, before turning her head side to side and pointing at Wander.) Sylvia: That's crazy! How did you... (During the end of this, she strives screen right and pokes her head out of frame. It comes into the scene from above.) Sylvia: Do...that? (pauses) Huh. So that's what the old caboose looks like. Hmm, not bad. (Wiggles her rump) Da-da-da-da-da-da, hey! Ah-da-da-da-da-da – (Before she could finish, her bottom drops out of view, and she lands next to Wander, making the floor beneath him bounce up and send him into the air. The ground makes a spring sound while doing so; Wander lands and laughs.) Wander: Do it again, do it again! (Sylvia stands up and stomps her foot on the ground, and Wander bounces in time. First comes a boing, honk and beep. Then she jumps, making a drum beat and moo, then a crash as Wander bounces upside down until his body goes out of view and comes in from the bottom. Wander falls down, then lands. Sylvia lands, producing a spring as Wander repeatedly zooms past her, then he bumps into her, causing them to spin in mid-air before landing on the ground on their bellies and laughing hardly.) Wander: Man, oh man, is this place great?! (He holds up his fist on the last word, which has suddenly increased in size. Wander sees this and sits up, Sylvia lifts her head.) Wander/Sylvia: Whoa! (Now the fist shrinks, and Wander's feet enlarge and push Sylvia away slightly. This continues for his head, body, hat and tongue, the last picking Sylvia up.) Wander: (mumbling) Sylvia, you gotta try this! (Close-up on Sylvia, she closes her eyes and grunts, then she turns green with multicolored polka dots.) Wander: (offscreen) Whoa, I gotta try that! (His tongue lowers Sylvia out of view; widen to frame him, tongue back to normal and Sylvia's original colors restored. Wander's entire body changes colors as he names them.) Wander: Red! Green! Yellow! Blue! Bet I can be tartan, too! (His body gains several multicolored stripes until he's plaid all over. Now he changes shapes and colors as he names them off.) Wander: Form of...a red rectangle! Teal tetrahedron! Paisley parallelogram! An orange spoon! (Wander now turns back to his extraterrestrial form, original colors restored. Sylvia applauds as Wander takes off his hat and bows.) Sylvia: Oh! Whoo! All right! Brava! (She reaches under her saddle and suddenly throws out roses.) Uh, what the...? (A pause, Wander puts his hat back on and Sylvia reaches under her arm, before producing a boquet of roses. She lets them drop, then repeatedly tosses some more down on Wander until he grabs one of them. Close-up on him.) Wander: This place is bananas! (The rose transforms into a banana in his hand. Cut to Sylvia, also holding a rose, the camera shifts back and forth between them on the next lines.) Sylvia: Totally nuts! (The rose in her hand turns into a bag of peanuts.) Wander: It's crackers! (His banana takes the form of a box of crackers.) Sylvia: Completely batty! (The nuts turn into a live bat flying above her hand.) Wander: Absolutely...loony! (He lets his eyes twirl in their sockets on the last word. The box of crackers turns into a loon, it makes a party noisemaker sound.) Sylvia: Ha! Utterly...Jellyfish Pie! (The bat turns into a rather, fat jellyfish on a pie tin.) '' '''Wander:' Huh? (The duck flies away, the pie gets thrown in his face. Zoom out to frame Sylvia as she laughs; on Wander as he extracts the jellyfish and jitters slightly.) Wander: Oh, yeah? Well, bye-bye, Jellyfish Pie, time for water balloons! (When he says the word, the jellyfish turns into three balloons of pink, blue and purple. Widen to frame Sylvia as she crawls away.) Sylvia: Aww, come on, now! (dodges the balloons) Ha ha! (She gets pelted with thousands of water balloons, thrown by Wander as the camera pans to frame him. He lets out a rather crazy laugh before the camera pans to Sylvia, pulling back a giant slingshot of water balloons. She launches them and they hit Wander, soaking him all over. Sylvia joins him, and they share a rather long, crazy laughter. They suddenly stop to hear their laughter echo in the void, and the camera zooms out in steps.) (Close-up on Sylvia.) Sylvia: Hey, you see that door we came through anywhere? Wander: (juggling three anvils) Nuh-uh. Sylvia: We should probably look for a way out of this place, huh? Wander: Aw, do we have to? Sylvia: Sure would be nice to know we're not stuck in the middle of nothin'. Wander: Yeah, I guess you're right. (During this, he stops juggling the anvils before they turn into three balloons of blue, yellow and red respectively, before they deflate out of frame.) Wander: (rubbing hands) So, what's the plan? Sylvia: Uh...you go that way, I'll go this way. (She points ahead on "You go that way" and behind her on "I'll go this way". Both turn around, Wander tipping his hat at her before both start off. During this though, Wander increases in size while Sylvia decreases.) Sylvia: Nothin' over here! Wander: Whoa! (laughs, bends over) You're tiny! (picks her up, cut to his face as he brings her into view) Aww! You're so adorable, I could eat you right up...literally! (He proceeds to do so by bringing her closer to his mouth as he repeatedly chomps it, drooling slightly. Cut to Sylvia and zoom in on her shocked face, before cutting to side view as she backs away.) Sylvia: Wander!! Stop!! Put me down!! (he does so, now offscreen) Or no, wait, wait. (Wander brings her back into view) Lift me up. Maybe this place has a ceiling. (He begins to do so at warp speed.) SLOWWWWLYYYYYYYYYY!!! (He stops, she jumps.) Wander: (Echoing loudly) WHOOP! (Cut to Sylvia, vibrating from the sound.) SORRY! Sylvia: QUIIIIETLYYYYYYYYYY!!! (Cut to her overview of him.) Wander: (whispering) Whoop. Sorry. (He literally zips his mouth closed. Long shot of him, zoom out slowly as he raises his arm until it's out of view. Cut to Sylvia, she jumps.) Sylvia: Nope! Nothin' up here! (Back to Wander, he no longer has his mouth zipped. His arm begins to wobble as he sweats and struggles to keep it up. Brief long shot of him, cut to Sylvia as she is flung around.) Sylvia: (voice vibrating) Whoa! Whoa! Hold on there! Steady! Steady! (falls off, spins in the air) WHOAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Cut to Wander as Sylvia lands next to him, now back to normal size. Wander sighs, his arm begins landing around them, spinning in circles like a rope. Long pause.) Wander: Huh. (giggles) Sorry, it got really long. Still comin'. (chuckles) Anytime, now. Anytime. (Sylvia crosses her arms as his stops falling, close-up of his hand over her as it waves.) Hello! (Sylvia grasps hold of it and tosses it; wide shot of the two as the arm spins around the screen rapidly and retreats back to normal size.) Sylvia: (paces back and forth) Okay, no need to panic. No need to panic. Wander: I'm not! Sylvia: But it seems like we're stuck in an endless void without any ceilings or walls. (Slams into an invisible "wall", mumbling) Okay, some walls. (turns around, slams into another "wall", grumbles, gets contracted by another "wall") Hey! (contracts more) Help, Wander!! (totally contracts into the shape of a cube) I'm trapped!! Wander: Hey! That's pretty good! (turns into a mime) Look, I'm trapped, too! (Begins miming the "invisible box".) Sylvia: (jerking around, groaning) No, Wander, I'm really stuck!! (Wander notices this, then mimes a lasso and "catches" Sylvia before flinging her over him, releasing her from her cube shape as she spins in the air and lands on her back. She repeatedly gasps for air, cut to her upside-down perspective of Wander as he mimes coming over a ledge and comes into view.) Wander: You okay, buddy? (Side view, zoom out slowly as Sylvia snaps up.) Sylvia: Okay?! I was just almost crushed into a Z-bornak cube!! (She takes a breath, Wander returns to his normal state.) No exit? Fine. We'll just...blast our way outta here! Wander: Ohhhh, let me help! (He concentrates hard, and a blaster appears in Sylvia's hands. She aims it, but all that comes out of it when it fires are unusual objects. First, an ice cream cone. Second, a blob of pink paint. Third, a huge pile of stars. Fourth, a trio of acrobats as they spin in the air and pose. Fifth, a group of frogs. Sixth, a bunch of funfetti. Finally, a small star that explodes into fireworks. Cut to the two, watching this as three of the frogs hop by and the acrobats cartwheel away.) Sylvia: HOW WAS ANY OF THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP?! Wander: Uh, I don't know. Sure was fun, though, huh? (He giggles. Everything around them disappear and the blaster in Sylvia's hands turns into a flamingo. It squeaks loudly and skips away, a door slams.) Sylvia: (striving off) Wait, what? A door? Of course. A door! (She concentrates hard, and a brown door appears in front of her. She walks over to it and tries to open it. Wander joins her.) Sylvia: COME ON, DOOR! GET – US – OUTTA HERE!! (The door suddenly rips out of her grip and withers to the ground like a tablecloth. She groans dejectedly.) Wander: Aww, Sylvia, you're not doin' it right! You want doors? I'll give ya doors! (Right on cue, multiple rows of doors slide into view behind him. Zoom out slowly to frame four long rows of sixteen doors each, back on the two.) Sylvia: I said, "door"! "DOOR"! (starts concentrating) Wander: Whoops! Heh heh! Well, gotta be one of these, right? (Sylvia growls, then enters the blue door next to her. A montage begins; zoom out to frame all the doors as Sylvia comes out of the thirteenth blue door on the top. She crosses to the seventh olive door and comes out of the fourth beige one in the second row. Enter sixth brown door, exit sixth blue door on third row. Enter thirteenth brown door, exit ninth blue door on bottom row. She yells angrily; enter third olive door, exit thirteenth olive door on second row. Enter sixth brown door, exit third olive door on top row. Enter sixth brown door, exit ninth blue door on third row. Enter fourth olive door; she crosses through the doors at warp speed and yells out in anger, then produces a giant axe while Wander hides in his hat. She crashes all the doors, except for the eleventh brown door on the bottom row. The axe shrinks and disappears before she lands on the ground, zoom in slowly) Sylvia: Oh! Okay, okay! You're the right door! Right? Wander: (comes out of his hat) I have a good feeling about this one. I didn't trust those other doors. (blows raspberry) Sylvia: (With her eyes closed, crosses to door) Okay. Thinkin'...spacey thoughts. (Opens door) Aaaand... (A pack of different colored unusual creatures burst out, trampling Sylvia as the door slams shut. Sylvia stands up, then reopens the door to reveal a brick wall. She closes it and reopens it, revealing a live action shot of a human eyeball. She closes it and reopens it again, revealing Lord Hater naked in the shower and using the curtain to cover his crotch. She continues opening and closing it to reveal, in order: A black and white live action shot of a steam engine chugging towards them, an original drawing of Wander from 2007, a live action photo of Jack McBrayer, a backdrop showing a spectrum of vibrant colors, a live action photo of The Two Man Gentlemen Band, a backdrop of warm colors, an original drawing of Sylvia, a yellow background with the message "Thanks for watching Wander Over Yonder and for taking the time to still frame this! - CM", and a black and white live action photo of Craig McCracken. One last open revels purple and pink squid tentacles, which grab Sylvia as she shrieks. One of them is holding a brown suitcase. Sylvia releases her grib and stomps on the tentacles before slamming the door on them.) Squid: I-ly just want to sell you some insur-lur-ance! Sylvia: (groaning) No thank you! (Door slams completely, pause, Wander applauds) Wander! Wander: (chuckles) Sorry, but come on, giant squid insurance? Kind of funny, right? (Close-up on Sylvia, she gets an idea and stands up.) Sylvia: Wander. (widen to frame Wander) This place will give us whatever we want! Wander: I know! Isn't it – (holding up banjo, singsong) AWESOOOOOOME?! (On the last word, zoom out quickly to show them on a stage at a rock concert. The stage reads "WANDER" at the top, and the teenage alien audience cheers while pyrotechnics fire around. Fade to white; fade in immediately to the two next to the door.) Sylvia: Y-yeah, but...I don't think we're gonna get to leave, until we both want to leave. (She sighs, Wander puts his banjo away.) So, do you think – for me– you can focus, so we can get back to our world? Wander: (Fingers on head) A-zooma-wimmy-zimmy-zoob-zoob! Sylvia: (Opens door revealing a space background) Yes!! (She flips Wander onto her tail and walks through the door.) (Cut to the two back in space, no longer glowing and voices not echoing.) Sylvia: I knew you could do it, buddy! No crazy fantasy void is gonna keep us locked up! Watch out, universe, 'cause Wander and Sylvia are back...in...action? (On the end of this, the background music suddenly loops endlessly as Sylvia looks back and forth at the background. She puts a finger to her chin.) Sylvia: Hmm. That's weird. (She looks down and snaps in shock; zoom out to show them still in the void walking on a treadmill in front of a moving space background. They are glowing slightly again, their voices echo as well.) Sylvia: (jumping off) WAAAAND – Wander: Sorry! I know what you're gonna say. "...DERRRRRR!!!" (He stops walking and spins in the air for a moment as the background and treadmill disappear. Sylvia begins grumbling under her breath; he crosses to her.) Wander: But come on! Why would you ever wanna leave this place? It's the best! Here, you can do anything you want! (He suddenly begins giggling indistinctly and jittering a bit as the camera cuts to him in close-up. His hat begins to inflate; cut to Sylvia, she has stopped grumbling.) Sylvia: Uh... (Back to Wander, his hat sparks. Back to her) Wait. (Back to Wander as his hat puffs around a bit before exploding as a bunch of other Wanders come out of it on a rainbow. Brief shot of Sylvia bathed in the light of the colors, then zoom out as the real Wander crashes into her and becomes a 5-person jug band. They perform a small intro, pan upwards to show Sylvia as the spotlight before Wander enters.) (Song: "Inside Your Mind") Wander: Oh, there's a place you can do, Do whatever you want to. Just take a step inside your mind. Open up the door, walk on through, You'll be singing, "Whoop-boop-de-doo!" When you take a step inside your mind. Oh, make up stuff that you wanna see Like a psychedelic bumblebee. Do some things you want to try Like flying up in the sky, When you take a step inside your mind. (Now Sylvia is floating through a starry landscape with a bunch of other Wanders.) Sylvia: Wander! Wander! Whichever of these yous is you, I think you should maybe take five, pal! Wander: Aw, you should join us! Sylvia: Uh, no, thanks, I'm fine. Wander: Come on, it'll be fun! (She and Wander hit the "ceiling" and the camera rotates to show them on a stage in front of a Wander audience. Wander plays his banjo while the other Wanders onstage dance backup. Sylvia, with strings attached to her arms and legs, dances around like a marionette.) Wander: Ooh, there's a spot where all is fine. You'll be happy all the time Just take a step inside your mind. Don't be sad, don't be blue, You'll find endless things to do When you take a step inside your mind. It's a place for you to grow By knowing things you've never known. Got a problem you need solved? Use your noodle and evolve! Take it, Syl! Sylvia: Uh, no, thanks, I really wanna go – (She is now a ventriloquist dummy controlled by Wander.) Wander and Sylvia Dummy: Oh, just take a step inside... Wander Audience: Take a step inside your... All: Take a step inside your... Sylvia Dummy: Yep-a-dep-a-dep-ba-ba-da-bow! (The audience cheers as all but Sylvia bow and Wander blows kisses. Zoom in on Sylvia's face as the background returns to the white void and she returns to her normal self.) Sylvia: (furiously) WAAAAAAANDEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! (After a pause, zoom out to show her surrounded by other Wanders. The real McCoy stands next to her.) Sylvia: You're spending so much time thinking about the things that you wanna do, that you forgot all about me and what I wanna – Wander: Do-do-doodly-do Sylvia: (pauses) Yeah. And I'm real. (She smacks her tail against one of the other Wanders, and it falls over and disappears. Long shot as she angrily walks off; Back on Wander as the Wanders behind him dance to a slow, distorted version of the song from earlier. He hangs his head, and they fall over and disappear. Cut to a blank white space before panning down to Sylvia, sitting forlornly. She sighs, the next line snaps her up.) Wander: (offscreen) Y'know – (Zoom out to frame him.) I can imagine a whole buncha things – (The following items appear as he names them off.) A nine-necked banjo, a peppermint puppy, a radical radish, a sweeping lemur, a sun that compliments you on your hat... Sun: Nice hat! (They all disappear, close-up on the two as Wander holds his hand out.) Wander: But I can't imagine – a better friend than you. (A golden doorknob appears in the air in front of Sylvia.) Wander: (Walking onto Sylvia) Come on, let's get outta here. (She smiles.) (Cut to space showing the golden doorknob from the start of the episode. The ethereal door opens revealing an orbble with Wander and Sylvia's silhouettes in it. Their voices no longer echo.) Wander/Sylvia: YEE-HAW!!! (Close-up on them, camera following; they are no longer glowing.) Sylvia: Proud of you, buddy. (They screech to a halt; zoom out showing a giant window with white light in it, which leads back to the void.) Wander: Yes...? Sylvia: (Turning around, leaving) Nope. Zib-a-dib-a-dip-a-dip-a-dib-dib-dib Category:Transcripts